facts
by envysparkler
Summary: Izaya knows that some things cannot change, no matter how much he twists and bends them. Certain things are absolute, whether he likes it or not. – Shizaya.


**a/n:** After writing a Kidou/Fudou fic, I was in the mood for a little more Foe Yay. This is part of my oneshot anniversary celebration! I've spent four years on fanfiction, whoo!

 **dedication:** To the crazy evil masterminds.

 **disclaimer:** I don't own Durarara!

 **summary:** Izaya knows that some things cannot change, no matter how much he twists and bends them. Certain things are absolute, whether he likes it or not. – Shizaya.

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 _ **facts**_

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Izaya has been called many things. Information broker, troll, flea – he hoards all his nicknames to chuckle over on a slow day. But Izaya likes to think of himself as a collector.

He collects information. He figures out secrets and spies for fun and he keeps them to himself, sometimes. He likes figuring things out for the sake of figuring things out – half of the information he has is not for sale.

 _Fact: The sky is blue._

But every once in a while, he comes across a piece of information that just _is_. He can't manipulate it. He can't lie about it. He can do nothing but stare at this offending piece of information with the knowledge that some things are beyond his power.

 _Fact: Light creates shadows._

And Izaya's mostly learnt to live with these unchangeable tidbits of information. He's a broker, but there will always be things that are beyond any price. And, of course, life is too boring if he doesn't have a challenge on his hands every now and then.

 _Fact: Blood is red._

Why? That has been Izaya's favorite question from the start. Why, why, why, until he reaches a dead end, a brick wall, a point from which he can go no further.

Why? Just because.

 _Fact:_ _Bones will break under pressure._

And so he turns away from science and cold hard truth. He delves into the arcane, the supernatural, the extraordinary. He uncovers centuries of lore and legend, myth and mysteries, tall tales and trickery.

 _Fact: Pain is a response to injury._

But even the world of unknown has rules. Rules that Izaya can't break or bend and it frustrates him to no end. He needs a Valkyrie to take him to heaven. Valkyries only show up in times of war. There are so many _conditions_.

 _Fact: I cannot get up._

Izaya very much dislikes conditions when they apply to him.

 _Fact: It hurts to breathe._

In fact, the only thing he possibly dislikes more than conditions is Shizuo.

 _Fact: Shizu-chan can find me anywhere in Ikebukuro._

Shizuo effortlessly throws pieces of information out the window all the time, leaving Izaya dumbfounded. He breaks rules like they're telephone poles and for him, nothing just _is_.

Izaya's hate might be founded in jealousy.

 _Fact: This time, I cannot run._

Izaya has never truly feared Shizuo, because he's never been in a position to fear for his life. He's always been one step ahead of the deadly bartender, mostly because even though Shizuo tears plans like paper, he's never been capable of thinking ahead.

And Izaya has his knives and razor wit to arm himself and he's always been one jump from safety.

 _Fact: Shizu-chan hates me._

Except this time, he isn't one jump from safety. In fact, Izaya doesn't think he can jump at all – the bones in his legs are shattered, and the pressure on his chest is a sure signs of broken ribs. He's bleeding out on the asphalt, legs twisted on the ground, holding his last knife in a futile attempt.

The knife can't hurt Shizuo, but Izaya feels marginally safer with it in his hands, a feeling that disappears when his view of the sky is interrupted by blond hair and dark sunglasses.

 _Fact: Shizu-chan is the single most unpredictable protozoan on this planet._

Izaya remembers the ease with which Shizuo threw a vending machine at him last week and swallows past the blood in his throat. He tries for a smirk but ends up in a grimace. Shizuo looks at him with an unreadable expression on his face.

Izaya lets the knife fly. Shizuo simply steps aside, as if he's politely letting the knife pass. And now Izaya's only weapon is gone.

He swallows again and tries not to show the fear he feels as Shizuo crouches down.

 _Fact: I am going to die._

The swallow turns into a cough as Shizuo picks him up and walks out of the alley. Izaya has imagined a quick death but it appears that Shizuo, as usual, defies expectations. Izaya closes his eyes and waits for the pain to start.

And waits.

To amuse himself while waiting, he notes the turns that Shizuo is taking. It isn't until he realizes that they're at Shinra's apartment that he opens his eyes.

Izaya tries for a question, but finds that he's beyond words. Shizuo drops him there and turns away. He doesn't say anything before disappearing and Izaya realizes that Shizuo just saved his life.

 _Fact: I hate him_.

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 **fin**

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 **a/n:** Just another little foray into our favorite information broker's mind. A different look than unlikely truce, however.


End file.
